Abnormal Psychology and Deviance

Sometimes you kick and flail, frustrated and fighting against your circumstances. You are clearly at the edge of the wheel making pbpbpbpbpbpb noises with your mouth caught in the spokes. Effort is made and the trudging continues with considerable whining (especially if you are a verbal processor). Then, one day, you are within a situation and things become smooth. You are in rhythm with the universe and all your dogged trudging comes to fruition. Be grateful for that moment. Be grateful for the help that is offered gladly and the ease and lightening you feel. You will soon slip back out from the center of the wheel where things are calm to the ragged edge and you will be back to getting beat in the head. Hang on to this feeling, remember that it will come again and that the universe is operating as it should be. Whine a little less, kick a little less and be open and aware for the time when you again slide to the center.
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Scented Prepubescents

Jack came home from camp asking for deodorant and specifically requesting Old Spice Danger Zone or Swagger. I know he hasn’t been able to watch Archer but he repeats his dad’s pronunciation of “Danger Zone” from the show to a T. In the aisle at Shoprite I sniffed Matterhorn (which smells like snow, air and freedom), Swagger, and Playmaker (“Believe in your Smelf”). Danger Zone was sadly out of stock. As I tried to decide which one smelled less like desperation at last call I noticed that Brut made a deodorant and decided that I should buy that and have my 10 year old smell like a VFW for a little while. It’d bring back memories of my grandpa and have me craving a Hi-Ball.

No decision has been made and he probably still smells like a sweaty 10 year old.

Burberry Plaid Legs

I am allergic to Thor, his fur, and all of his bodily fluids which means that when he wants to give me lovin’ and he licks me, I need to jump up and wash the area before I react. I am generally unsucessful at this because I am very lazy. Today he met me at the side of the bed and lavished love on my leg which now has stripes of pink itchiness all up and down it.

The phrase “lick me in a decorative fashion” is stuck in my head and it’s not a phrase you can exorcise by saying it out loud like you can get rid of an annoying song in your head by passing it to someone else.

Home Decor

Sometimes you really need a set of rings that look like mood rings but aren’t because they need to be in 4 different colors so you can squish them into a foam backing and put them in a glass case in case you all need your power rings for an important business meeting. That’s a really hard thing to google and find online.

Fustration

“All jammed up” is a great expression. So is “in a tizzy”. Is there a phrase for thinking you have a plan and know what’s what and then realizing you have no idea what to do next? Or getting what you think you want and then being confused becauee you don’t know what to do with it. Getting something and making it happen is always more interesting to me than using it. I remember building houses for my paper dolls…I was always more interested in building the house than playing with the dolls once the house was done.

An audio treat for the whole family

I wonder if I will ever get used to the dog. I can breathe, so that’s good, but I am itchy all the time and I don’t like being licked. I do like having him around more than I expected which is interesting.

He is wrangled in his cage for the night. The act of getting him in the damn thing was made as pleasant an experience as I could make it because he’s supposed to love the cage. It’s supposed to be his secret happy place. If you could hear him now you’d think his secret happy place was walled with spikes and was on fire and was electrified and he was very, very, very lonely.