Burberry Plaid Legs

I am allergic to Thor, his fur, and all of his bodily fluids which means that when he wants to give me lovin’ and he licks me, I need to jump up and wash the area before I react. I am generally unsucessful at this because I am very lazy. Today he met me at the side of the bed and lavished love on my leg which now has stripes of pink itchiness all up and down it.

The phrase “lick me in a decorative fashion” is stuck in my head and it’s not a phrase you can exorcise by saying it out loud like you can get rid of an annoying song in your head by passing it to someone else.


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